I found Robert Hass' piece of poetry very interesting. It was story-like, talking about this little girl, then a one-sided conversation with Lucretius happens. He's not really talking to him, but rather talking to us, the readers of this poem.
In the beginning, I liked when Hass wrote, "Poetry should be able to comprehend the earth. / To set aside from time to time its natural idioms / Of ardor and revulsion..." (50). I think that Hass is trying to say that when we write poetry about the earth and its beauty, the poem should help us understand more in a clearer way than before. And the last part could mean that we don't always need some fancy language, but the description can be raw from whatever we think, not just being passionate or disgusted by our earth. We can put more into the poems to help others understand our point of view.
Another few lines that caught my attention were this: "It must be a gift of evolution that humans / Can't sustain wonder. We'd never have gotten up / From our knees if we could" (51). And then it describes things that humans have done with nature to create other types of beauty. At first, I thought, "How could not really appreciating 'wonder' be a gift?" It could be more of a curse because we forget so easily, but then again, we can always be reminded of the beauty and wonder around us because it is there (for now). I guess that this could be a gift, like I said before, that we can take the beauty around us, and make something else beautiful, such as earrings and make-up and weapons. So nature can have more than one purpose for beauty. Humans can be creative in that way, trying to remake something already beautiful. But maybe this takes away from the beautiful things that God already created in nature, and we, created by God, think we can do better than the Creator Himself. But this probably isn't the full intention behind the things that humans make to create a "manufactured beauty." And I totally agree though that we "humans / Can't sustain wonder." Nature around us does affect us and move us at times when we slow down and choose to be still in the nature around us. Then we are reminded.
These are the last few lines that caused me to ponder their meaning: "So easy, in imagination, to tell the story backward, / Because the earth needs a dream of restoration-- / She dances and the birds just keep arriving / Thousands of them, immense arctic flocks, her teeming life" (56). I am not sure why "in imagination" it is easy "to tell the story backward" as opposed to telling the story not in imagination. I think when Hass writes "to tell the story backward," he is thinking that we start the "story" from where we are at now, and then rewind to capture everything else and are then reminded of how things were before the destruction of the ozone layer and other things. We can jog our memory, thinking of the past and how things were once good, and we want that back now. Our earth needs "restoration" from the devastation that we humans have caused with our industrious selves. Then the last part could be an example of how our world can be restored. Venus, Roman goddess of love, beauty, fertility and prosperity, could maybe restore the earth and bring "her teeming life." Or, it could just mean that "she," the earth, keeps on spinning, "danc[ing]" and continues teem with life.
I think that overall, Hass has many beautiful descriptions that make the places he mentions come alive even though I have never been there. It allows my mind to create and picture based on Hass' words and imagine the beauty that he describes. He weaves this story of this girl and his conversation with Lucretius smoothly throughout this whole poem. And I think that this brings awareness to us, and reminds us of how we have "quite accidentally" ruined our earth from the time it began and bring to mind the beauty that does still exist in our world today (49).
(704)
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Monday, October 29, 2012
Spiritual Practice in Poetry: Mary Oliver's and My Own
I read through Mary Oliver's poems, and enjoyed them. Then I read Professor Corrigan's notes about spiritual practice and how that is placed into poetry. Then I read the poems again with a new light.
I enjoyed all of Oliver's poems, but the one that stood out to me was "Walking Home from Oak-Head." Oliver gives lovely descriptions of the winter weather. I could picture the things she described and it reminded me of home. I miss the winter weather and being in the snow and walking around in its beauty. But after reading that Oliver saw poetry as a spiritual practice, I looked beyond the literal picture of winter I had and dug for something deeper.
The title, "Walking Home from Oak-Head" is not just a journey through the woods, but rather our spiritual journey and how heaven is real. When Oliver mentions "home," she is not talking about a cottage in the woods, but our eternal home, Heaven. After some thought, these lines throughout this poem had new meaning for me. Such as: "or wander on slowly / like the still unhurried wind, / waiting, / as for a gift, / for the snow to begin / which it does / at first casually, / then, irrepressibly." I think that these lines are talking about the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit can be like a wind around us; a presence that surrounds us. Also, there are the gifts of the Holy Spirit, and is a comfort to us. Or sometimes we wait for the evidence of speaking in tongues, by the Holy Spirit. And then when the Holy Spirit comes it's nice, but when we continue to engage in the presence, then the Holy Spirit comes more irrepressibly. We can't contain the Holy Spirit inside of us, but it all has to flow out and just become this presence around us.
When I first looked at this poem literally, it had a nice little story that gave me pretty pictures in my head. But reading through the text and the real meaning behind Oliver's words gave me an understanding of this "spiritual practice." It's so much deeper than the first time I read it. Oliver's writing is honestly a talent that she has been given, to weave in this spirituality so cleverly.
Lastly, the line "which is faithful beyond all our expressions of faith, / our deepest prayers" was powerful to me when I didn't even know what it really meant. But through this process, the answer to who or what is faithful, is simply Jesus. He is the one who is faithful, and He is my deepest prayer. I not only want Him to be in my life, but I need Him. He is my everything and I want to be like Him in all that I do.
(465)
I went to Lake Bonny Park for this field trip, and I stayed there for at least 45 minutes. And my little poem was inspired by my time spent there.
The Things We Don't See
Every creature has its place in society,
Growing, spinning, crawling, flying, sitting.
This society is not for humans.
The trees, the grass, the water: all natural.
Through the calls, whispers and everyday
Chatter of this society,
Heard so near are the unnatural lives of motors,
Moving at a different pace.
How intricate and delicate are the webs spun.
Multitudes of complex and beautiful masterpieces,
Shimmering in the sunlight.
These creatures, living a life to catch others.
Not only catching, but living as a connector:
One who bridges the gap.
From one side to the other.
Staying strong.
Making as many ties as possible.
How often do we stop and think of the sparrow?
The one that God sees?
He watches over all the little things,
The little ones who struggle with just
Simple things.
We jump around, looking for the best position,
The best place to be.
Yet being just with the Creator is enough.
Being with Him and recognizing His voice
And His creation.
Yes, His works are wonderful, I know that
Full well.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Field Trip! AFI
The visit to AFI was incredible! It was a lot of fun learning about AFI and the programs they run there, as well as interacting with the clients that attend this facility. For me, being at AFI, and seeing the people there, it really brought the characters in The Boys Next Door to life. I saw the different levels of these high-functioning disabled adults, and it reminded me of characters like Arnold and Lucien. They had different levels of ability. When we were reading in groups, there were three clients who all read at different levels. Neal, the first one to read out loud, was a very good reader. He knew a lot of words, needed help with a few, but I think an overall good reader. Kevin read next. He basically just ended up reading the words that he knew out loud while he moved his finger across the line. Lastly, Phillip read. He didn't read out loud. Instead, he read silently, I think, while tracking the words with his finger. I don't know if he does or doesn't read out loud, or whether he was just shy. It reminded me that everyone is unique in the way we do things.
I think that reading the essay by Fettke before going on this field trip made me aware of myself and how I treat others. I tried to love on the clients and get to know them. It was neat to see how the clients interacted with each other and me. They are people who do things like I do. One of the clients, Michael, while we were having our break was one the phone. He had his cell phone out and told us he was talking to his girlfriend. These people are in this community together. Joking around with each other, and some were calling others crazy. I think that the clients just enjoyed being talked to and making new friends with us students. I was a little nervous at first, cause I wasn't sure of what topics to bring up, but Vanessa and I were chatting with a big group of people and learned their names and joked around with them. They were so much fun.
Going to AFI I guess gives me more of a visual for all of the characters and what they do. I think Tom Griffin did a wonderful job with The Boys Next Door in his depiction of the high-functioning disabled and how they live life.
As I reread part of the text when Jack gets a new job and tells the others at the party and the others are kind of upset and react in different ways, I thought about how the clients would feel if some of the workers had to tell them they were going to a new job. I'm sure that everyone has a relationship with all the staff so it would be heartbreaking for the clients. Change can be hard. Accepting people is one thing. Letting them go is another. After being with and seeing someone many times a week, and then the routine changes, it may become difficult for some clients. I don't know how deep the attachment goes, and how the others workers deal with the situations, but I'm sure they work through it. Change is a part of our lives.
Honestly, going to AFI was one of the best field trips. I think reading the play and essay gave me a different perspective than I may have had if I went there without any of the texts beforehand. This brought awareness to me about what was happening in the community that I wouldn't have known about otherwise. I'm so glad that I was able to be a part of their community, even just for a little bit.
(635)
I think that reading the essay by Fettke before going on this field trip made me aware of myself and how I treat others. I tried to love on the clients and get to know them. It was neat to see how the clients interacted with each other and me. They are people who do things like I do. One of the clients, Michael, while we were having our break was one the phone. He had his cell phone out and told us he was talking to his girlfriend. These people are in this community together. Joking around with each other, and some were calling others crazy. I think that the clients just enjoyed being talked to and making new friends with us students. I was a little nervous at first, cause I wasn't sure of what topics to bring up, but Vanessa and I were chatting with a big group of people and learned their names and joked around with them. They were so much fun.
Going to AFI I guess gives me more of a visual for all of the characters and what they do. I think Tom Griffin did a wonderful job with The Boys Next Door in his depiction of the high-functioning disabled and how they live life.
As I reread part of the text when Jack gets a new job and tells the others at the party and the others are kind of upset and react in different ways, I thought about how the clients would feel if some of the workers had to tell them they were going to a new job. I'm sure that everyone has a relationship with all the staff so it would be heartbreaking for the clients. Change can be hard. Accepting people is one thing. Letting them go is another. After being with and seeing someone many times a week, and then the routine changes, it may become difficult for some clients. I don't know how deep the attachment goes, and how the others workers deal with the situations, but I'm sure they work through it. Change is a part of our lives.
Honestly, going to AFI was one of the best field trips. I think reading the play and essay gave me a different perspective than I may have had if I went there without any of the texts beforehand. This brought awareness to me about what was happening in the community that I wouldn't have known about otherwise. I'm so glad that I was able to be a part of their community, even just for a little bit.
(635)
Monday, October 22, 2012
Created In "Imago Dei"
Why?
We're all created in God's image.
God says that we belong to Him.
As Christians we should all be accepting.
But why is it so hard?
We all have our own quirks
And things that we do uniquely.
Yet those who are different we judge so harshly.
But why do we do this?
You may say, "I love God"
But don't show it through actions.
If God loves us no matter what
Why can't we do the same for others?
"Normal" is a word we use.
It describes situations, things and people.
"I would like to propose defining 'normal'
As simply being created in God's image" (1).
I wrote this little poem as part of my response this reading, by Steven M. Fettke, and as a question to those who consider themselves Christians. These were my thoughts: How are we really responding to others around us? Are we showing love and acceptance? Why do we accept or reject others?
This piece of work left me questioning my own actions and perceptions of those who are disabled and how I should look at them through a Christian perspective. Not the perspective of the Church nowadays, but what should be done as a Christian. God showed His love for us by sending His only son to die on the cross for us while we were still sinners (Romans 5:8). He shows us how to love. Now that we know how to love, we are supposed to show this kind of love to everyone, disabled or not.
But why don't we love others? Here are some reasons that I thought of:
1) We are afraid of opening ourselves up because we are afraid of rejection. We all desire to be loved by others. When we extend our love to others, the hope is that this action would be reciprocated by the other party. But when we do not receive love back, there is a greater chance of not opening ourselves up again. This leads to my second thought.
2) We have been rejected before when we tried to love and are more concerned with guarding our own hearts and emotions. We don't want to experience more heartache because it's not fun at all.
The force behind these reasonings is that, to put it in simple terms, we are selfish people. We don't want to give ourselves away and are more concerned with the benefits we receive rather than being willing to give.
The last line in my poem comes from the actual reading. I liked so much, and I thought it was appropriate to put it in. God created us in His image. God is perfect. So the way He made us is perfectly how He wanted us. God made us to be used for His glory, and He does this through different ways. So since we are made to be like Him, we should start acting like Him as well. We can start by loving and accepting others, no matter what. Whether a person has a disability or not, we are all "normal"-- created in God's image (1). It may not seem easy to accept and love others who may have a disability, but God has called us to love one another (Leviticus 19:18). We are all people, created by God, in His image, who just need to be loved.
(561)
We're all created in God's image.
God says that we belong to Him.
As Christians we should all be accepting.
But why is it so hard?
We all have our own quirks
And things that we do uniquely.
Yet those who are different we judge so harshly.
But why do we do this?
You may say, "I love God"
But don't show it through actions.
If God loves us no matter what
Why can't we do the same for others?
"Normal" is a word we use.
It describes situations, things and people.
"I would like to propose defining 'normal'
As simply being created in God's image" (1).
I wrote this little poem as part of my response this reading, by Steven M. Fettke, and as a question to those who consider themselves Christians. These were my thoughts: How are we really responding to others around us? Are we showing love and acceptance? Why do we accept or reject others?
This piece of work left me questioning my own actions and perceptions of those who are disabled and how I should look at them through a Christian perspective. Not the perspective of the Church nowadays, but what should be done as a Christian. God showed His love for us by sending His only son to die on the cross for us while we were still sinners (Romans 5:8). He shows us how to love. Now that we know how to love, we are supposed to show this kind of love to everyone, disabled or not.
But why don't we love others? Here are some reasons that I thought of:
1) We are afraid of opening ourselves up because we are afraid of rejection. We all desire to be loved by others. When we extend our love to others, the hope is that this action would be reciprocated by the other party. But when we do not receive love back, there is a greater chance of not opening ourselves up again. This leads to my second thought.
2) We have been rejected before when we tried to love and are more concerned with guarding our own hearts and emotions. We don't want to experience more heartache because it's not fun at all.
The force behind these reasonings is that, to put it in simple terms, we are selfish people. We don't want to give ourselves away and are more concerned with the benefits we receive rather than being willing to give.
The last line in my poem comes from the actual reading. I liked so much, and I thought it was appropriate to put it in. God created us in His image. God is perfect. So the way He made us is perfectly how He wanted us. God made us to be used for His glory, and He does this through different ways. So since we are made to be like Him, we should start acting like Him as well. We can start by loving and accepting others, no matter what. Whether a person has a disability or not, we are all "normal"-- created in God's image (1). It may not seem easy to accept and love others who may have a disability, but God has called us to love one another (Leviticus 19:18). We are all people, created by God, in His image, who just need to be loved.
(561)
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Forever Plaid
I went to Forever Plaid and stayed through the whole musical. The student who played "Frankie," Matthew Rich, is actually in my sociology class, and is in my group for a presentation we have to do. It was different to see him playing a role on the stage, and he did a very good job.
I thought that this was such a cute musical! It was so entertaining. When I went with my friend Etta, on Thursday night, October 11, there were quite a few older folks that attended as well. Since the story had a lot of hits from the 1950s, I think that those who were older appreciated these songs even more than I did. It probably brought back memories for them of when they were younger. They were even some of the first people to give them a standing ovation at the end. The theater was not full, but still, we have a fairly interactive audience.
One of my favourite things was the interaction with the audience: the holding of lights, signing the "Book of Plaid," singing the Caribbean Plaid along with them, and watching an audience member play "Heart and Soul" along with the Plaids. I have never seen a musical that caused the audience to be so involved. It was so enjoyable.
I think some of my favourite songs were, "The Catering Drill/She Loves You," "Caribbean Plaid," and "Heart and Soul." The four guys were so funny and really hammed up their characters. I think it was amazing only having six total guys play the music, sing and act the whole thing. The set was fairly simple as well, but it was just enough. All the costumes and props made up for everything else. They kept it lively and very engrossing. My expectations were exceeded since I wasn't sure what to expect anyway. I would recommend this musical to everyone and would love to see it performed again!
(324)
I thought that this was such a cute musical! It was so entertaining. When I went with my friend Etta, on Thursday night, October 11, there were quite a few older folks that attended as well. Since the story had a lot of hits from the 1950s, I think that those who were older appreciated these songs even more than I did. It probably brought back memories for them of when they were younger. They were even some of the first people to give them a standing ovation at the end. The theater was not full, but still, we have a fairly interactive audience.
One of my favourite things was the interaction with the audience: the holding of lights, signing the "Book of Plaid," singing the Caribbean Plaid along with them, and watching an audience member play "Heart and Soul" along with the Plaids. I have never seen a musical that caused the audience to be so involved. It was so enjoyable.
I think some of my favourite songs were, "The Catering Drill/She Loves You," "Caribbean Plaid," and "Heart and Soul." The four guys were so funny and really hammed up their characters. I think it was amazing only having six total guys play the music, sing and act the whole thing. The set was fairly simple as well, but it was just enough. All the costumes and props made up for everything else. They kept it lively and very engrossing. My expectations were exceeded since I wasn't sure what to expect anyway. I would recommend this musical to everyone and would love to see it performed again!
(324)
Act II: The Boys Next Door
I won't lie (it's a good thing to be truthful). I was pretty excited to finish the rest of this play to see the endings for each of the characters.
One of the parts that made me crack up was when Jack comes in with his cut finger and Arnold has to talk to him about the rugs.
ARNOLD. Where's Jack? I saw his car. I've got to have a talk with him. This is very important.
LUCIEN. In the bathroom.
ARNOLD. This can't wait. This is crucial. (Calling in to the bathroom.) Excuse me, Jack, but we have to have a discussion!
JACK. (Off, in the bathroom.) I'll be right out, Arnold. Hold your horses.
ARNOLD. Hold my horses?
LUCIEN. You got horses?
ARNOLD. He must have me confused with someone else. I don't have any horses. (Calling into the bathroom.) It's me Arnold!
LUCIEN. (Yelling to the door.) We got no trees! (37)
Jack uses a common idiom that most of us recognize. He's telling Arnold to wait until he finishes. But because the word "horses" is thrown in there, Arnold gets confused, thinking that Jack is talking about real horses. Arnold knows he doesn't have real horses, so Arnold thinks that Jack is confused. Lucien is on the same page with Arnold. They don't know what "hold your horses" means. I thought it was just kind of funny since they thought Jack was talking about real horses.
We can see a change in Barry through his emotions and when he talks about people. There is a point where he is frustrated with Norman, and even uses sarcasm to tell Jack not to be sarcastic.
BARRY. Be sarcastic, Jack. That helps. Sure. That helps the situation. Sure. (40)
But as the scene goes on, Barry then is talking to Lucien about his time at an institution. There was a fellow, Wally, that died and they through away a box, which was the only thing that belonged to him. I think Barry feels that the attendants were careless. They didn't really care that Wally died, but that he was just another one that went. Barry feels so strongly about this that he ends up breaking down and crying. Lucien goes over and pats his head to comfort Barry (43). We can see two different sides of Barry and how he can feel toward others. He has emotions, concerns and thoughts like me. There is something in all of us that wants people to care. And when there are those who don't care, we are hurt. Even though Barry was frustrated with Norman earlier, Barry does have compassion inside of him and has a history of hurts.
There is another dance scene where Sheila and Norman are talking to each other and another character is introduced. Her name is Clara and she is retarded and kind of speaks with a growl. Clara's character reminded me of sophomore year in high school. During our study hall time, I worked with some of the mentally disabled students. There was a girl named Caitlyn who was similar to Clara. She didn't really talk, but growled, and usually had something in her hands that she would fiddle with. It was at times difficult to work with her and other students. It took a lot of patience and gave me an understanding of what the special education teachers had to do all day, and the time and energy that is spent with these people. A whole slew of memories came flooding back through reading this scene. It's very real to me.
I think my favourite line in this play would be when Lucien says to the audience, "I am here to remind the species of the species" (52). Lucien is there to remind people like me of him. He goes on to say that "without [him], without [his] shattered crippled brain, [we] will never again be frightened by what [we] might have become. Or indeed, by what [our] future might make [us]" (52). I think that this means that we should, I guess, be grateful for who we are. Or maybe that we could be worse off, so we should be grateful that we are more "normal." We have different chances than those who are mentally handicapped. I think that most of the time we live in different worlds. There are only a few that venture into their "world" and get to know them and work with them. People like Jack. Living in both "worlds." I thought that Lucien's little monologue was captivating. It helped me understand more about Lucien as a character and what I am sure really happens with those who are mentally disabled. "I am here to remind the species of the species" (52).
A simple play full of complexities and questions.
(800)
(800)
Monday, October 15, 2012
Dealing With "The Boys Next Door"
Starting out reading this play, you learn about the first character, Arnold, and you meet the other characters gradually. You begin to understand them through what they say, how they react and how that lines up with Jack's description of them. The play just jumps right into the characters, and you have to interpret for yourself who these characters are before we are told about them.
I felt that in this first act, there were many different interactions that were shown between the mentally handicapped and non-mentally handicapped in combinations. The first situation shown is between Arnold and Lucien in the apartment. Their conversation tends to shift rapidly from one subject to another, or even refer back to something that already happened before and they just keep repeating it. Here's an example:
LUCIEN. Lucien P. Smith.
ARNOLD. Libraries have that funny smell.
LUCIEN. It smells like books.
ARNOLD. That's it. Books. They smell like books.
LUCIEN. (Examining the lettuce.) Bunnies like lettuce.
ARNOLD. Yes, they constantly do. (With suspicion.) Do you have a bunny?
LUCIEN. You got a bunny hid?
ARNOLD. No, really, Lucien, you never mentioned a bunny before. This concerns me a little. I mean, we're friends and all, and you've never said nothing about a bunny.
LUCIEN. It's got my name. Lucien P. Smith. (Indicating the books.) You read them. (8)
There is a tangent about bunnies in the middle there and it seems insignificant to me, but to Arnold, it's a big concern. I don't know for sure, but I'm assuming that this play captures a reality of conversations between those who are mentally handicapped.
Another scene between characters is one of the mentally handicapped characters with a non-mentally handicapped one: Barry and Mr. Hedges.
BARRY. I'll tell you one of the basic problems of golf. Maybe the basic problem of golf. Golf is a game. It's just a game Mr. Hodges, just a game.
MR. HEDGES. Hedges.
BARRY. It's too early to worry about that. Besides, I don't know of more than two or three courses with a serious hedge hazard. Sure, traps. Sure, thick rough. Sure. But hedges. That's rare.
MR. HEDGES. My name is Hedges. My name is John Hedges. (12-13)
The scene continues on and Mr. Hedges becomes frustrated with Barry because he is not getting his name right, and ends up quitting the golf lesson. People can become so easily frustrated with others because they have different levels of patience. I don't think that Mr. Hedges understood that Barry was mentally handicapped, but if he did, I wonder, would he have had more compassion and grace? Or would he have signed up for the lesson at all? I think that knowing things about people can affect how we treat others, whether good or badly. We find out that at a certain super market, the manager takes advantage of Arnold when he is buying stuff. They are teasing him, and probably get a laugh out of what he does and his quirkiness. They have an understanding of Arnold, but don't have real concern for him at all. I think this is how many people are. We may understand a situation or a person, but we either shy away and don't involve ourselves, or we try to get something out of it, like a good laugh at the expense of others. There is a lack of sensitivity in our culture today, or maybe that's just what I've seen. Maybe there's compassionate people that I've missed and I've only seen the one side. I'm sure this is just as real today as it could have been back when this play was written.
We see yet another interaction of characters: Mrs. Fremus and Barry.
BARRY. I couldn't begin to figure it. He just quit... I computed it. That's before expenses. (Dawns on him.) I still have to buy clubs yet.
MRS. FREMUS. You don't need gloves in the sumer, Barry.
BARRY. (Highly agitated.) "Clubs!" I said. Clubs! (17-18)
There is a little miscommunication here because Mrs. Fremus is deaf, so probably reads lips, and that's how she can "know" what's going on. But even though she can read lips, it's a tough thing to rely on, and that's why she gets the words mixed up. But the characters still like to go and talk to her because she is giving them the time of day to just communicate in the way that she can. And I'm sure she doesn't mind the company at times because she is a widow. It's probably somewhat nice for each party.
I think that Jack is in a tough spot. He has been supervising 17 mentally handicapped men for eight months. As we see, Jack sometimes uses sarcasm and asides to the audience to display his thoughts and feelings. At one point, Jack actually explodes at Arnold because he is so stressed out. He is trying to introduce these men into the mainstream society and live normally. I can't imagine the patience and time that it takes to try and teach the characters. I don't know if Jack has other people working on a similar project, or an organization that he works for that pays him to supervise them, but it seems like Jack doesn't express his true feelings to anyone. There is just so much anger, frustration and maybe others things that contribute besides just dealing with these men. I think his divorce from his ex-wife is still plaguing him a little, and who knows if he has any real friends. Jack has quite a full plate.
I think we sometimes forget the toll that our jobs can take on us. We invest so much time, but sometimes see not so many results, or feel like we're getting no where.
This play is not what I expected at all. I didn't know what to expect coming into it actually, but it is rather intriguing and I am ready to read the second act.
(999)
I felt that in this first act, there were many different interactions that were shown between the mentally handicapped and non-mentally handicapped in combinations. The first situation shown is between Arnold and Lucien in the apartment. Their conversation tends to shift rapidly from one subject to another, or even refer back to something that already happened before and they just keep repeating it. Here's an example:
LUCIEN. Lucien P. Smith.
ARNOLD. Libraries have that funny smell.
LUCIEN. It smells like books.
ARNOLD. That's it. Books. They smell like books.
LUCIEN. (Examining the lettuce.) Bunnies like lettuce.
ARNOLD. Yes, they constantly do. (With suspicion.) Do you have a bunny?
LUCIEN. You got a bunny hid?
ARNOLD. No, really, Lucien, you never mentioned a bunny before. This concerns me a little. I mean, we're friends and all, and you've never said nothing about a bunny.
LUCIEN. It's got my name. Lucien P. Smith. (Indicating the books.) You read them. (8)
There is a tangent about bunnies in the middle there and it seems insignificant to me, but to Arnold, it's a big concern. I don't know for sure, but I'm assuming that this play captures a reality of conversations between those who are mentally handicapped.
Another scene between characters is one of the mentally handicapped characters with a non-mentally handicapped one: Barry and Mr. Hedges.
BARRY. I'll tell you one of the basic problems of golf. Maybe the basic problem of golf. Golf is a game. It's just a game Mr. Hodges, just a game.
MR. HEDGES. Hedges.
BARRY. It's too early to worry about that. Besides, I don't know of more than two or three courses with a serious hedge hazard. Sure, traps. Sure, thick rough. Sure. But hedges. That's rare.
MR. HEDGES. My name is Hedges. My name is John Hedges. (12-13)
The scene continues on and Mr. Hedges becomes frustrated with Barry because he is not getting his name right, and ends up quitting the golf lesson. People can become so easily frustrated with others because they have different levels of patience. I don't think that Mr. Hedges understood that Barry was mentally handicapped, but if he did, I wonder, would he have had more compassion and grace? Or would he have signed up for the lesson at all? I think that knowing things about people can affect how we treat others, whether good or badly. We find out that at a certain super market, the manager takes advantage of Arnold when he is buying stuff. They are teasing him, and probably get a laugh out of what he does and his quirkiness. They have an understanding of Arnold, but don't have real concern for him at all. I think this is how many people are. We may understand a situation or a person, but we either shy away and don't involve ourselves, or we try to get something out of it, like a good laugh at the expense of others. There is a lack of sensitivity in our culture today, or maybe that's just what I've seen. Maybe there's compassionate people that I've missed and I've only seen the one side. I'm sure this is just as real today as it could have been back when this play was written.
We see yet another interaction of characters: Mrs. Fremus and Barry.
BARRY. I couldn't begin to figure it. He just quit... I computed it. That's before expenses. (Dawns on him.) I still have to buy clubs yet.
MRS. FREMUS. You don't need gloves in the sumer, Barry.
BARRY. (Highly agitated.) "Clubs!" I said. Clubs! (17-18)
There is a little miscommunication here because Mrs. Fremus is deaf, so probably reads lips, and that's how she can "know" what's going on. But even though she can read lips, it's a tough thing to rely on, and that's why she gets the words mixed up. But the characters still like to go and talk to her because she is giving them the time of day to just communicate in the way that she can. And I'm sure she doesn't mind the company at times because she is a widow. It's probably somewhat nice for each party.
I think that Jack is in a tough spot. He has been supervising 17 mentally handicapped men for eight months. As we see, Jack sometimes uses sarcasm and asides to the audience to display his thoughts and feelings. At one point, Jack actually explodes at Arnold because he is so stressed out. He is trying to introduce these men into the mainstream society and live normally. I can't imagine the patience and time that it takes to try and teach the characters. I don't know if Jack has other people working on a similar project, or an organization that he works for that pays him to supervise them, but it seems like Jack doesn't express his true feelings to anyone. There is just so much anger, frustration and maybe others things that contribute besides just dealing with these men. I think his divorce from his ex-wife is still plaguing him a little, and who knows if he has any real friends. Jack has quite a full plate.
I think we sometimes forget the toll that our jobs can take on us. We invest so much time, but sometimes see not so many results, or feel like we're getting no where.
This play is not what I expected at all. I didn't know what to expect coming into it actually, but it is rather intriguing and I am ready to read the second act.
(999)
Monday, October 8, 2012
Figtrees, Cuzco and Other Words
Naomi Shihab Nye writes poems like I've never seen before. She uses stories that seem to stem from real-life situations that she has faced or seen, and then puts them in a light to be appreciated. Sometimes we forget about the little things that make up our lives, and even the little moments that give us pleasure. We may forget, but Nye helps us remember and reflect.
After I read "My Father and the Figtree," I thought it was such a cute little poem of how Naomi Shihab Nye remembers such a funny quirk about her father. She recalls his love of figtrees from a very young age. I especially liked when she mentioned that he used to add figtrees into stories. "In the evening he sat by my beds weaving folktales like vivid little scarves" (2). I really enjoyed this imagery about weaving folktales like scarves. Making a scarf can be fairly intricate, and something beautiful. The word "vivid" makes it seem like something just pops out, and bright. This poem reminded me of my dad reading or telling stories to my siblings and I when we were little. I think that most everyone can think of something in their life that they love so much, whether it be food or not, that they think is best above everything else. The father knows what a good fig is like, and probably wants others to experience the joy that he finds in this fruit. The father is so giddy, and almost childish, as he writes a song about his figtree in the end. I don't think there is anything else that gives him so much pleasure. Nye mentions that it is an "assurance of a world that was always his own" (2).
Another poem that I enjoyed was "Coming into Cuzco." I didn't even know what Cuzco was before I read this piece, and then looked it up as well. Apparently, it's a fairly well known tourist destination in Peru. And Nye is writing about an experience on the way there. Whether it's actually her or not, I don't know, but I read it that way. The first half of the poem was kind of sad to me. The first thing I noticed that revealed a sadness was when the author says, "I was a broken jug, nothing could fill me" (4). I didn't really see anything that said why this was, or a reason to be so empty. Regardless, the person felt an emptiness. As she goes about to the airport, she notices people that are living a routine life with "their new alpaca sweaters" and "how easily [they] joined the ticket line, how easily [they] mentioned coffee" (4). But while this is happening, who I think is Nye, is noticing "an old man with white hair who had just stepped off the plane followed by a casket" (4).
Sometimes we can be so easily involved in our own little world with the people around us and the things that we see as important, not even taking notice of others. We tend to live our lives with ourselves in the center of our universe. What if we stopped to take a look at others around us? What if we notice someone who is looking sad? What if this person is lonely and going through a hard time. As Christians, we need to remove ourselves from the center, put Jesus first and then others. Lastly, we deal with ourselves. Maybe if we paid attention to others we could find more opportunities to witness and pray with others who are needing some comfort through a hard time. I am putting this as a challenge to myself, to pay more attention to others and not live so routinely, but to break out of my norm at times to reach out to those around me.
Back to the poem. The person that I believe is Nye, then begins to think about her life in the future, and how it would feel "to be riding next to the body of the one you have loved" (4). She sympathizes with the old man and feels the heartbreak. But then comes the changing point when she arrives. She still feels this heavy weight on her when she boards a bus. And some of the simple things in life remind her that there is happiness. First, a baby on the bus shouts "Vamos! every time the bus paused" and the narrator laughs a little, even though it seems foreign at the moment. Then a young girl with flowers hands Nye "one perfect pink rose, because [they] had noticed each other, and that was all" (4). Just a simple acknowledgement can lead to other moments that can make our day. Something like this, that is so simple can change our attitudes and remind us that "it should not be so difficult to be happy in this world" (4).
(821)
After I read "My Father and the Figtree," I thought it was such a cute little poem of how Naomi Shihab Nye remembers such a funny quirk about her father. She recalls his love of figtrees from a very young age. I especially liked when she mentioned that he used to add figtrees into stories. "In the evening he sat by my beds weaving folktales like vivid little scarves" (2). I really enjoyed this imagery about weaving folktales like scarves. Making a scarf can be fairly intricate, and something beautiful. The word "vivid" makes it seem like something just pops out, and bright. This poem reminded me of my dad reading or telling stories to my siblings and I when we were little. I think that most everyone can think of something in their life that they love so much, whether it be food or not, that they think is best above everything else. The father knows what a good fig is like, and probably wants others to experience the joy that he finds in this fruit. The father is so giddy, and almost childish, as he writes a song about his figtree in the end. I don't think there is anything else that gives him so much pleasure. Nye mentions that it is an "assurance of a world that was always his own" (2).
Another poem that I enjoyed was "Coming into Cuzco." I didn't even know what Cuzco was before I read this piece, and then looked it up as well. Apparently, it's a fairly well known tourist destination in Peru. And Nye is writing about an experience on the way there. Whether it's actually her or not, I don't know, but I read it that way. The first half of the poem was kind of sad to me. The first thing I noticed that revealed a sadness was when the author says, "I was a broken jug, nothing could fill me" (4). I didn't really see anything that said why this was, or a reason to be so empty. Regardless, the person felt an emptiness. As she goes about to the airport, she notices people that are living a routine life with "their new alpaca sweaters" and "how easily [they] joined the ticket line, how easily [they] mentioned coffee" (4). But while this is happening, who I think is Nye, is noticing "an old man with white hair who had just stepped off the plane followed by a casket" (4).
Sometimes we can be so easily involved in our own little world with the people around us and the things that we see as important, not even taking notice of others. We tend to live our lives with ourselves in the center of our universe. What if we stopped to take a look at others around us? What if we notice someone who is looking sad? What if this person is lonely and going through a hard time. As Christians, we need to remove ourselves from the center, put Jesus first and then others. Lastly, we deal with ourselves. Maybe if we paid attention to others we could find more opportunities to witness and pray with others who are needing some comfort through a hard time. I am putting this as a challenge to myself, to pay more attention to others and not live so routinely, but to break out of my norm at times to reach out to those around me.
Back to the poem. The person that I believe is Nye, then begins to think about her life in the future, and how it would feel "to be riding next to the body of the one you have loved" (4). She sympathizes with the old man and feels the heartbreak. But then comes the changing point when she arrives. She still feels this heavy weight on her when she boards a bus. And some of the simple things in life remind her that there is happiness. First, a baby on the bus shouts "Vamos! every time the bus paused" and the narrator laughs a little, even though it seems foreign at the moment. Then a young girl with flowers hands Nye "one perfect pink rose, because [they] had noticed each other, and that was all" (4). Just a simple acknowledgement can lead to other moments that can make our day. Something like this, that is so simple can change our attitudes and remind us that "it should not be so difficult to be happy in this world" (4).
(821)
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Cemetery Reflection
I went to the Lakeview, Roselawn and Tiger Flowers cemetery complex for this fieldtrip, and I stayed there for at least 40 minutes. When I first walked into the cemetery, some of the first tombstones were of those who had died at young ages. One person died when they were 20, and another was a child that lived only to the age of 10. This moved me to think of the families who dealt with these losses of those who were so young. It's really heartbreaking. The mood in general was solemn because it was a cemetery, but also the weather conveyed the same mood since it was grey and cloudy when I happened to go. It was a good time to reflect on others and their losses and think about the future for me.
As I reflected on passages where Lewis felt like he feels that he has been cut off and separated, and he has to deal with this suffering, it made me think about my future. I love my parents and am close with them. I don't really know how I'm going to respond with grief if something like this happened to either of my parents. Although death is a part of the end of life, it stills affects those living. And with my future husband, if he dies before me, how will I deal with my grief? What will my grieving process be? I won't really know until that time comes.
In the last two chapters of A Grief Observed, there is a shift that takes place in C.S. Lewis. We start seeing the logical side of Lewis in the middle of chapter three. He wants to start actually acting based on thinking rather than his feelings. We can especially see the difference when he says that "[his] heart was lighter than it had been for many weeks" (44). Lewis himself is recognizing a change that has taken place. He is not as gloomy as he had been. Even before this happens, there seems to be a little humor that he places in there, though probably unintentionally, but I found some statements amusing.
After this stated change, Lewis begins to see that when he doesn't mourn over H. as much, he remembers her best (44). He also says that "he remembers her better because he has partly got over it" (45). Lewis compares this also with the statement that "you can't see anything properly while your eyes are blurred with tears" (45). This came across perfectly clear to me. He is finally thinking and writing more rationally. He has progressed from an earlier stage of more complaining and blaming grief to a realization that he cannot mourn her forever, because then he will never remember her properly. The tears have to stop for him to see clearly.
Another passage that caught my attention was when Lewis mentioned that, "God [had] not been trying an experiment on [his] faith or love in order to find out their quality. He knew it already. It was [Lewis] who didn't" (52). I feel like these few sentences show Lewis' maturity in Christianity. Even though there were moments where Lewis felt like the door was slammed in his face, he is realizing that there was a process that God was taking him through. This experience of loss was for Lewis to really see his faith and love put on the line to know where he stands. God was revealing what He already knew to Lewis to grow him.
One of my favorite moments that Lewis wrote was, "If you're approaching Him not as the goal but as a road, not as the end but as a means, you're not really approaching Him at all" (68). This really made me pause for a minute or two as I thought about my faith and how I approach God. I rechecked my intentions to see whether they were pure and whether I am really approaching God for God. It's a really powerful line.
I think that Lewis comes to two big conclusions. One is that he will always love H. and will feel the hurt and grieve at times for her come back around again and again. It is just like his comparison of the amputee who still feels some of the pain and again comes back to the fact that his leg is cut off. It will never be forgotten. Two is that Lewis needs to continue to rely on God. He needs God. I think after this experience and not turning completely away from God, Lewis will always remain faithful to God.
(770)
As I reflected on passages where Lewis felt like he feels that he has been cut off and separated, and he has to deal with this suffering, it made me think about my future. I love my parents and am close with them. I don't really know how I'm going to respond with grief if something like this happened to either of my parents. Although death is a part of the end of life, it stills affects those living. And with my future husband, if he dies before me, how will I deal with my grief? What will my grieving process be? I won't really know until that time comes.
In the last two chapters of A Grief Observed, there is a shift that takes place in C.S. Lewis. We start seeing the logical side of Lewis in the middle of chapter three. He wants to start actually acting based on thinking rather than his feelings. We can especially see the difference when he says that "[his] heart was lighter than it had been for many weeks" (44). Lewis himself is recognizing a change that has taken place. He is not as gloomy as he had been. Even before this happens, there seems to be a little humor that he places in there, though probably unintentionally, but I found some statements amusing.
After this stated change, Lewis begins to see that when he doesn't mourn over H. as much, he remembers her best (44). He also says that "he remembers her better because he has partly got over it" (45). Lewis compares this also with the statement that "you can't see anything properly while your eyes are blurred with tears" (45). This came across perfectly clear to me. He is finally thinking and writing more rationally. He has progressed from an earlier stage of more complaining and blaming grief to a realization that he cannot mourn her forever, because then he will never remember her properly. The tears have to stop for him to see clearly.
Another passage that caught my attention was when Lewis mentioned that, "God [had] not been trying an experiment on [his] faith or love in order to find out their quality. He knew it already. It was [Lewis] who didn't" (52). I feel like these few sentences show Lewis' maturity in Christianity. Even though there were moments where Lewis felt like the door was slammed in his face, he is realizing that there was a process that God was taking him through. This experience of loss was for Lewis to really see his faith and love put on the line to know where he stands. God was revealing what He already knew to Lewis to grow him.
One of my favorite moments that Lewis wrote was, "If you're approaching Him not as the goal but as a road, not as the end but as a means, you're not really approaching Him at all" (68). This really made me pause for a minute or two as I thought about my faith and how I approach God. I rechecked my intentions to see whether they were pure and whether I am really approaching God for God. It's a really powerful line.
I think that Lewis comes to two big conclusions. One is that he will always love H. and will feel the hurt and grieve at times for her come back around again and again. It is just like his comparison of the amputee who still feels some of the pain and again comes back to the fact that his leg is cut off. It will never be forgotten. Two is that Lewis needs to continue to rely on God. He needs God. I think after this experience and not turning completely away from God, Lewis will always remain faithful to God.
Monday, October 1, 2012
A Grief Observed and Discussed
C.S. Lewis' writing in "A Grief Observed" is very raw. Some thoughts seem to pop up out of nowhere as he journals his thoughts and handles the loss of his wife. It reminds me of how I journal, and as things come into my head I write them down. In this book, C.S. Lewis is baring his grief through writing.
In the beginning of this book, I felt that C.S. Lewis was relatable to Sanjeev from "This Blessed House." Lewis says that, "[l]ove is not the whole of a man's life. I was happy before I ever met H." (4). Lewis is stating that he was living life just fine before he loved H. He had a life before and things that he enjoyed that occupied his time. This reminded me of Sanjeev because it is mentioned in "This Blessed House" as Sanjeev reflects about college, how he was quite fond of walking across the Massachusetts Avenue Bridge, going to his favorite Indian restaurant and then writing out his homework again (138). As he reminisces about this period in his life, we can gather that Sanjeev rather enjoyed that period. Sanjeev had a life before Twinkle came in and they got married. He was a successful man, now trying to figure out love, just like Lewis.
As I continued to read through the text, I was reminded of another previously read piece: Raymond Carver's "What We Talk About When We Talk About Love." In the two chapters I read, I felt that this expression of Lewis' grief and grieving process could have been renamed to "What We Talk About When We Talk About Grief." In Carver's short story, four friends are discussing the topic of love, the different kinds and the truest examples. Lewis is writing from his heart and talking with himself about what he is feeling during this grieving process. He is talking about his feelings and grieving in his own way. He is just being honest about his sadness, anger, doubts and confusion about life without his wife. We all mourn in different ways, but I am sure that all of us face the similar doubts, anger, sadness and confusion that Lewis is letting us see as he works through this tragedy in his life.
No one really likes to watch as people mourn another person. It's sad when another person, especially someone you are well acquainted with, passes away. There is hurt and frustration to be dealt with at times. As I read this piece by Lewis, I cannot empathize with his loss, but only sympathize, which still makes me sad. I can't imagine his thoughts, even though he writes down a portion of them. He contemplates his trust in God, many times about whether God is good or not, or whether He is there in our times of crisis. There are so many emotions that are overwhelming him. He's not the same since H. died. For those reading this book who have lost loved ones, I am sure that they can relate better to these kinds of feelings and work through the grieving process with C.S. Lewis in this piece of literature.
(529)
In the beginning of this book, I felt that C.S. Lewis was relatable to Sanjeev from "This Blessed House." Lewis says that, "[l]ove is not the whole of a man's life. I was happy before I ever met H." (4). Lewis is stating that he was living life just fine before he loved H. He had a life before and things that he enjoyed that occupied his time. This reminded me of Sanjeev because it is mentioned in "This Blessed House" as Sanjeev reflects about college, how he was quite fond of walking across the Massachusetts Avenue Bridge, going to his favorite Indian restaurant and then writing out his homework again (138). As he reminisces about this period in his life, we can gather that Sanjeev rather enjoyed that period. Sanjeev had a life before Twinkle came in and they got married. He was a successful man, now trying to figure out love, just like Lewis.
As I continued to read through the text, I was reminded of another previously read piece: Raymond Carver's "What We Talk About When We Talk About Love." In the two chapters I read, I felt that this expression of Lewis' grief and grieving process could have been renamed to "What We Talk About When We Talk About Grief." In Carver's short story, four friends are discussing the topic of love, the different kinds and the truest examples. Lewis is writing from his heart and talking with himself about what he is feeling during this grieving process. He is talking about his feelings and grieving in his own way. He is just being honest about his sadness, anger, doubts and confusion about life without his wife. We all mourn in different ways, but I am sure that all of us face the similar doubts, anger, sadness and confusion that Lewis is letting us see as he works through this tragedy in his life.
No one really likes to watch as people mourn another person. It's sad when another person, especially someone you are well acquainted with, passes away. There is hurt and frustration to be dealt with at times. As I read this piece by Lewis, I cannot empathize with his loss, but only sympathize, which still makes me sad. I can't imagine his thoughts, even though he writes down a portion of them. He contemplates his trust in God, many times about whether God is good or not, or whether He is there in our times of crisis. There are so many emotions that are overwhelming him. He's not the same since H. died. For those reading this book who have lost loved ones, I am sure that they can relate better to these kinds of feelings and work through the grieving process with C.S. Lewis in this piece of literature.
(529)
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